Someday, I'll learn the lessons before I need them.

The Thursday Thirteen
Things I've learned this week:

1. Always, always, always bring an extra memory card.
2. One should avoid navigating the streets of Springfield, Oregon alone...at night.
3. Stink bugs do in fact stink.
4. If you ask the balloon man at The Spaghetti Factory if he can craft you a narwhal balloon animal, he can...and will.
5. Macklemore makes for excellent running music.
6. iPhones have lifesaving features. Especially for those who lack adequate navigational skills.
7. How I Met Your Mother possesses extremely tasteful comedic qualities and thus is highly addicting.
8. If you politely ask {yell at} your upstairs neighbors to turn down their television, they will do so in a surprisingly timely manner.
9. It takes my roommates and me less than 24 hours to completely devour a box of Betty Crocker brownies.
10. My black boots have NO traction.
11. If I buy chocolate chips for baking, chances are they will get devoured before they actually become a part of any concoction. 
12. My usual running route doubles as a hot spot for a local elementary school's wildlife-study field trips. {Little. Kids. Everywhere.}
13. I have amazing parents {and grandparents} for too many reasons to list.

Someday, I'll be a good bowler.

Just needed to express {complain} publicly that the gene for bowling technique skipped a generation--my generation. I'm lucky if I break 100. With bumpers.

It's bad.

Points for style?

Someday, I'll be graceful {part 3}.

First of all, the prodigal blogger returns! Summer hasn't exactly made me lazy, it's just changed my priorities I guess. Dog sitting, nannying, starting a new job, and breathing have kind of trumped blogging but I'm determined to get back at it...

In other news...yes, I have the ability to compose a third post on the subject of the clumsy accounts of Brittany Alexandra Hallin. This one's a doozy. It all started with an unfortunate spillage of au jus back in the kitchen of my workplace where I waitress. Upon getting slammed with more tables than my rookie, unexperienced waitress abilities could handle, fate graced me with an unfortunate step in this greasy puddle.

Well one thing led to another and before I knew it I was bum down and feet up with broken glass in my leg and a bruise on my tailbone. I am not sure what hurt more...my pride or my back. Well now, I'd say it's my back.

Someday, I'll be graceful. {part 2}

For those of you familiar with my ongoing disagreement with gravity, inability to consume food without choking, and innate urge to make abnormal faces upon greeting people, you will not be surprised that this week fails to disappoint when it comes to not-so-graceful mishaps...

So let's see...

1. Upon handing my salad ticket to the cashier at Dux Bistro {on-campus dining location} I managed to clumsily empty the entire contents of my salad bowl onto the counter. Not to place blame, {eh-hem cashier *cough* *cough* may have nudged my salad causing the leafy greens to plummet out of my grasp *cough* cough*} I do not find the fault to be my own, however it most definitely appeared to be as such. Between the deer-in-the-headlights expression of the cashier along with a peeved group of students building up behind me in line, I swiftly scooped the contents of my now "extra tossed," "counter-seasoned" dinner back into my bowl. Yum.

2. I'll spare the details of this next one because I think I've over-shared my bloody-knee firefighter story with anyone who will listen--granted it was hilarious & oh so unusal--but anyway it was another disagreement with gravity that left me in a frazzled, wounded state only to be doted on by a {medically certified ;)} firefighter.

3. On a run, I spotted a friend. Naturally, I sprinted over in her direction yelling her name. I'm not sure if it was the confused expression or her hysterically laughing friend that led me to believe it was NOT who I thought it was. Need to remember to wear my contacts...I just may be getting a reputation as "that girl who randomly waves and people and calls them by random names." Sweet.

Well I guess that's only three offenses this week--but then again, the week's not over. And those first two were kind of doozies...

Goal for this summer: develop some sort of defense against nature's unexplainable desire to brand me as a klutz.

Someday, I'll get contacts.

And hallelujah they're in the mail!

It's getting bad.

As I type this I am awkwardly keeping to myself as I just flamboyantly waved at a girl who entered the room because I thought she was an acquaintance. Needless to say, she looked at me in utter confusion--as she should have--I do NOT know her {as I discovered a little too late}.

Sadly, this occurrence is not one of unique nature--it has started to occur daily. That's just too much embarrassment for one girl to take. The worst occasion yet was when I actually greeted someone by their dopple-ganger's name. Awkward. Really though, how are you supposed to respond to that?

So...
Next time you pass me on the street {whether or not you REALLY know me} & if you even remotely resemble someone I know, chances are you will get a friendly greeting from yours truly.

Someday, I'll be graceful. {Part 1}

{Part 1 because I'm sure there will be posts of similar nature to follow...}

So far, this month has been record breaking when it comes to embarrassing moments.

1. Tipped a desk over in class. A very silent class.
2. Unknowingly walked into a construction site {and almost got taken out by a digger} while trying to avoid walking through a U of O tour group assemblage.
3. Tripped on well...a twig.
4. Voice cracked saying, "Here!" during attendance. {Apparently, I'm a pubescent boy.}
5. Almost died choking on a piece of chicken at lunch.
6. Stumbled into a fire pit. {Bruises & cuts to prove it.}

It's been a good week. Sure there are mores stories to follow. Stay tuned.

Someday, I'll have self control.

 Easter candy + End of Lent {AKA deprivation} + Grandma's cookies {now gone} = one aching tum tum.
Needless to say, I got sooooo fed up with my lack of self control that I {aggressively} packaged all of the goodies into a big zip lock bag and tossed that sucker right in the freezer. TAKE THAT, CHOCOLATE! I WIN.


Not too much later...


Hmmmm...wonder how long it will take this chocolate bunny to thaw...

Someday, I'll stop burning myself...

Being the major klutz I am, I cannot say this is my first burn to leave a mark. 

{I have the scars to prove it.}

And this time, it was with ICE! Ouchie...blonde moment: putting ice pack directly onto skin. Oops.

Shin splints = no bueno.

Someday, I'll spend my meal points wisely.

Hi, I'm Brittany & I'm addicted to Coconut Water and Sobe drinks. 

Sadly, this ain't all of em.

Someday, we'll defrost our freezer...

It's back.

The glacier.

Yeah... so one knife, a hair dryer, and some good ol' manual labor later, the glacier was no more. But hey, guess what?! It's back. :-| When will we learn that it's a good idea to defrost our freezer on a regular basis rather than wait until the ice trays and other freezer contents are frozen solid adhering them to the walls of the freezer? Ehhhh probably never.

{I did use the chiseled away ice scraps to sooth my shin splints. Yeah, call me Ms. Resourceful.}

Someday, boys will pull up them trousers!

"Crack of dawn" took on a whole new meaning this morning. Natalie and I were greeted with quite a sight as we braced the early morning for our 8AM math class. I've seen the whole low-ridin jeans with boxers and what not ....but this guy...THIS guy skipped a step - and a very important one at that.

Don't mind the extraordinary quality - had to be sly while capturing this beauty.

Now, I don't know where this trend originated, but I do have some idea of who to point fingers at in terms of keeping the trend alive...